#ftm self care

[answersfromzestual]

Graft Site Care for Forearm Free Flap Phalloplasty

Taking care of your grafting sites like your forearm, upper thigh (or other locations, surgeries vary) is a lot. Especially when you are in pain and feel just yucky.

I did not have a choice of where to take the graft to cover my arm's exposed tissue. My thigh was used over my lower back because of visibility.

The thigh was the easier part to take care of. All I had to do was put a thin layer of polysporine on it and wrap it up. It wasn't bad pain wise. It stung and ached at first, but the stinging and aching dissipates quickly as you heal. They only take a few layers of skin from your leg (or other graft site location), usually no fatty tissue or blood vessels, just skin. So that it will grow back and potentially not be any 'indentations' making it stand out against the rest of the thigh skin. Your first shower, it may be painful. I won't lie. it's something I wish that I was prepared for, honestly. I yelped (I have a very high pain tolerance) and swore like a sailor. I did this at the hospital, and a nurse was right outside the shower there to assist me. It was really kind of awkward, but at this point, my phallis was basically out all the time and was seen by every nurse in the building.

When it came to washing my arm, which I thought would be the painful bit of my shower, it never hurt. Personally, I have no sensation on my forearm graft site.

Just be prepared also because for example I do, however, suffer from something called "phantom itching," which means that even though I can not feel any sensation on my skin, I get itchy, and scratching doesn't help because there are no nerves. It happens to me maybe once a week, but it the itch only lasts a minute or two. This happens in about 60% of people who lose a limb or any body part with nerves. I found to combat phantom pains, a study was done for limb pain for people who had amputations. The study was about showing the subject themselves in a mirror and seeing the limb is gone. In many cases this actually worked on subjects and they could reduce or even stop their pain. We are talking about people in severe pain where they no longer have the body part causing the pain. I did try this on myself and I told myself there is no way you can feel itchy in front of a mirror. It actually made the itch instantly go away a few times after I practiced.

My arm was in a cast when I woke up from the procedure and for two or three days afterward. It was to protect the arm and keep the new skin tight against the body.

When they remove the cast, it can look a little gnarly (these may be similar to the more unpleasant looking pictures before they heal). No worries, though. It will be all good. They wrapped my arm in a tensor wrap over my gauze bandaged arm. I had to always be covered and protect my forearm.

When I got home I was instructed to have compression sleeves already, I did (this is important). I made sure to buy two at once so I could rotate. They tend to get stretched out I feel like in the wash especially, so having multiple is always a good idea. It will help them last longer.

Caring for your arm can be a little intimidating at first. To keep the skin flat for the first week (healing times may vary on person to person), I had to once a day poke small boil like spots on my arm with a small, sterile needle (I could not feel this what so ever). Then would clean the area and bandage it as I was instructed. I had to use special wrap that keeps the gauze from sticking to the wound. I would put some polysporin on each wound, cut out a piece of the lubricated bandage to prevent the skin from sticking to the gauze bandage, gauze bandage my entire forearm, then I would have to wrap my arm up my arm in a tensor bandage. They should teach you how to do this before you leave the clinic. Their instructions should be followed even if they differ from mine. Surgerons know best.

I had to use tensor bandages at first to wrap my forearm because of the wounds and amount of bandages, but within two weeks of being home, I was already healed enough and wearing my compression sleeve. You can usually start wearing this once you have no more open wounds. Please follow your doctor's instructions, even if they do differ from mine.

Compression sleeves are worn 24/7. You only take them off to shower. You should always wear your compression sleeve for the best results. Keeping the skin taught (tight and close to your arm) is important to get that nice flat surface. The compression sleeves are actually not uncomfortable personally, the only parts of the sleeve I bought in particular (it went from my uppser bicep to my wrist, be sure to measure yourself to find the proper size for you). The very top of the sleeve was "sticky" and is to keep it from sliding down. When I was at work and would sweat the sticky band around my bicep, would slide and loosen (the sleeve itself was not really affected as long as it was still tight around my forearm. Before your surgery its a good idea to ask what they recommend you to get for a compression sleeve and how to measure yourself for one. I did not like how mine only went to my wrist. If it is possible for you to get one that maybe goes from bicep, past your wirst and around your thumb (for example) to keep it over your wrist. Around my wrist is a little wrinkly, I feel it was because of the band around my wrist would slide up once and a while and leave about 1/3 of an inch of a gap between the sleeve and my hand (basically where my wrist bends). The sleeve really flattened the indent between my fatty part of my forearm and the graft. I get compliments on how flat and nice my forearm skin laid. I had to wear the sleeve 24/7 (aside from showers and the drying time) for an entire year to the day, the clinic should tell you how long they want you to wear a sleeve, if not be sure to ask.

Compression sleeves are very important for keeping your arm skin flat and tight to your arm. Having multiple is a good idea. Being able to rotate is important. It helps keep longevity of the sleeves. It helps allow you to wash one and have one to wear as it washes and dries. They are usually recommended to be hand washed and air dried. Washing them in the washing machine can stretch and wear them out faster. Most compression wear is not suitable for the dryer.

And that is how to take care of your grafting sites according to my experience and the website from GRS Montréal.

If you ever feel like anything is wrong, you don't feel well, anything feels unusual to you, you are in an abnormal amount of pain, or maybe you do not perhaps remember all the exact after care instructions. Please contact your clinic ASAP. They most likely have nursing staff that answer phones and emails 24 hours a day to help you, especially if your surgeon/clinic isn't close by or easily accessible to you. It's better to email them and have nothing be abnormal rather than not mention anything and hurt yourself or harm your healing.

Source 1 - healing information (GRS Montréal)

Source 2 - case study on neuropathy

Source 3 - Myself, recipient of the procedure in 2014.

[xochimillilili]

I just think it'd be really nice to be treated as a princess, even just for one day, it doesn't even have to be sexual, though I wouldn't be opposed to being cooed at softly and petted while I eat someone out. Wouldn't be opposed to my hair being brushed softly and pulled back with a pretty ribbon for me before another round of cumming out our brains– a pretty princess has to look nice, even while ramming it's throbbing cock into your ass

It'd just be really nice to be praised and spoken to softly, reminded I just get to be the sweet princess today over and over with little whispers of "my princess" until I actually believe it. It could even just be for an hour, for the length of a tea party and while getting all dressed up for it. Just cuddles and being an cute empty headed princess... and possibly some very giggly impact play with a pair of cute princessy shoes

[thefleshyougoveggie]

to anyone who binds/ wants to bind:

my biggest tip for you is to find a sports bra (or more than one could be good tbh) that you are fairly comfortable wearing. bc if you’re constantly using a binder, even if you take binder break days (which are CRUCIAL!!!) you can still get back pain from wearing binders often:( so having a sports bra that you like and wearing that as much as possible and saving the actual binder/s for “special occasions”/suuuper dysphoric days is something i highly recommend!!!

i used to bind most days of the week with actual binders, and even tho they were good quality (and right size!) it’s gotten to the point where i have back pain most days & i’m wearing a sports bra most days!!

also please please PLEASE do not wear your binder for longer than you should (6/8 hours, absolutely max 12, it varies from person to person-if it hurts, TAKE IT OFF) and remember to stretch!!!

big hugs,

your friendly neighborhood transmasc (who has back pain😔)

[ewwap]

Doting Yandere x Transmasc Reader

Y/n's tongue traced his teeth, rubbing the slimiest parts in disgust. How long ago had Oliver kidnapped him? Y/n hadn't kept track, too focused on the fact he hadn't been able to brush his teeth this entire time. Y/n's eyes soullessly dragged from their firm position looking at the floor to Oliver's face, comforting, and in Y/n's mind, in complete contrast to the heinous actions he had committed. Oliver noticed Y/n looking at him and like a puppy, his face lit up.

"It's alright Y/n." He soothed, placing a hand on Y/n's shoulder--who had no will to flinch away anymore. "I'm taking care of you here. You don't need to worry about anything any longer."

Oliver smiled sympathetically as if he was not the one who created the situation Y/n was now in. Of course, he did, being so rich and coddled--Y/n was the first person to not act like a yes man and let Oliver get away with anything he wanted. God, Oliver had been waiting for someone like that. Someone who wouldn't suck up to him, someone real.

Something snapped in Y/n over the line of Oliver taking care of him. He grit his grimy teeth and glared.

"Taking care of me? Hah." Y/n scoffed. "For the entire time I've been held up in this manor of yours I have not been able to brush my teeth once! Do you want my teeth to rot? Hmm? Do you want my jaw to ache from cavities and my teeth to turn black?"

Y/n's hands balled into fists. However, there was not much else his hands could do--being restrained in expensive cuffs.

"Not only that--I haven't been able to wash my face! Do you know how oily my face gets when I don't take care of it? It disgusts me. You disgust me." Y/n turned his head away. "And you have the gall to say you're taking care of me."

If Y/n had looked at Oliver's face he would've seen an expression of pure guilt and utter defeat. Y/n felt two strong arms warp around him, one hand wrapped around his waist and the other patting his head. Y/n remained defiant in looking away.

"I'm sorry Y/n... I'll do better." Oliver buried his face in Y/n's neck, embarrassed at his incompetence.

How was he supposed to be everything Y/n needed if he was too drugged by Y/n's presence to remember to brush his teeth? No, he had to do better.

______________________________________________________________

Y/n sulked in his golden prison, looking out the window at the gardens that were so well maintained. He looked at the flowers, blooming with vibrance. At that moment, he felt like a wilting lily, drying up because its master had neglected to water it.

Oliver opened the door, making sure to close it and wait for the click as it automatically locked. He drunkenly took in the sight of Y/n, but his heartbeat flattened at Y/n's lack of a smile.

"Love... I've done some research. I've found the most luxurious products for your face type--I even found the perfect cleansings for your hair! Oh, and of course, the toothpaste, quality, of course." He paused. "Only the best for you, Angel."

Soon, Oliver had Y/n in the en suite bathroom, his love in a fluffy bathrobe on a stool.

'Say aaaahhh~" Oliver held out the toothbrush, wetted after applying the toothpaste per Y/n's preferences.

"I can brush my teeth myself." Y/n glared at the toothbrush, feeling babied.

"I'm not sure I can trust you out of the handcuffs yet, Angel." Oliver smiled sweetly "Remember what happened last time?"

Y/n practically growled.

"Fine." Y/n opened his mouth, allowing Oliver to brush his teeth.

Soon, Y/n found himself in a bath, bubbles and sweet-smelling oils in the warm water. He tried to remind himself it was fine, Oliver had seen him like this before. Still, Y/n felt uneasy. He knew Oliver would never hurt him, but one glance at Oliver's face reconfirmed he was restraining himself from doing something else.

Oliver tried to steady his breathing, god, Y/n was ethereal. Every feature so perfect. It took all of his strength to keep his blood in his brain. Of course, he had to wait. He would wait forever for Y/n.

He took special care in scrubbing Y/n down, tracing Y/n's skin as if it were the softest material on earth. Accidentally spending longer than he intended to wash Y/n's thighs.

He hummed as he massaged the shampoo into Y/n's scalp. Rinsing before applying conditioner and lathering it in Y/n's hair. Y/n's perfect beautiful hair that he would find himself running his hands through. Oliver brought out a facial scrub to put on Y/n, coincidentally caressing Y/n's face as he rubbed it in and washed it off.

Oliver brought a cream out and traced Y/n's top surgery scars, marveling at how a body could be so perfect. How even a scar--which he had been taught was an imperfection or a flaw--could be so beautiful.

Finally, Oliver scooped Y/n up before wrapping him in a warm fluffy towel. He placed Y/n down as if he weighed nothing and dried him off softly, taking extra care with Y/n's precious face and hair.

______________________________________________________________

Later, Y/n was dressed in soft comfortable clothes, a new pair of handcuffs linking his hands together. Oliver was snuggling with Y/n, clinging to him like a koala. He sighed dreamily, as always, Y/n was right. He took a deep breath, drinking Y/n in. He was so beautiful like this. He looked at Y/n's resting figure, slight unease on his face even in his sleep.

"Don't worry love. Nobody will hurt you here, I'll give you anything you want. The world is at your fingertips, all you need to do is ask." Oliver pressed a kiss onto Y/n's forehead. "My angel."

[sensible-tips]

Mindful Monday-Tips for Bad Days

Useful references for when your having bad mental health days or feeling like you need to rest & recharge.

[ohmygenz-ie]

Friendly reminder to take your hrt and to feel good about doing so! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[man-ifestation]

You're alright, you're doing well, keep going, everything is going to be okay. You got this.

[frostralia]

It's okay to be a work in progress. Give yourself some time to grow, and you'll turn out great!

💋 Fabulous Frost Nicoletti

[geolo-guy]

It is okay to start over

This post might be too long for a lot of people. That's okay. This post isn't for everyone. This post is for me, and all the other mes out there.

I messed up. I wanted things to be perfect. I could see my life playing out exactly. I would go to school, study environmental science, and I would go on to get a research position in a governmental agency.

If only I knew.

I finished school, against my own will (I ran out of financial aid), and I had to scramble to find a job. I did; as a government official. It wasn't research, but I had hopes of one day becoming part of the research team. I was very proud of myself and my accomplishments.

The only problem was that I hated my job. I tried so, so hard to make things work. I found myself hunched over on the toilet more days than not, panicking, anxious, afraid of my schedule. I cannot, for the sake of my privacy say what it was I did exactly, but I can say that I was bad at it. Despite my best efforts, I was constantly being reprimanded for my anxieties and lack of social graces (I am on the spectrum, as well as suffer CPTSD from my experiences with conversion therapy).

I felt trapped. I live with my partner (the most amazing person to walk this planet), and we make ends meet on our own. It hasn't been easy. My parents don't support my transition, and their parents live 10 hours away.

I was fired this past November. I had to look my team lead in the eyes, knowing I tried so hard and failed. I was angry. I had confided my trust in her, and told her I was transgender, and really, really struggling. It didn't matter. But below those strong emotions, the feeling of relief slowly and quietly washed over me.

While I still had my benefits, I spoke to a therapist about my issues, and she reminded me that I had to be kind to myself. My job left me in a constant fight or flight state, and I had been for the past 9 months. While I wish I had been given more time with this therapist, the time I did have with her led me to look into my complex ptsd more intently. As an aside, I HIGHLY recommend the book Complex PTSD by Pete Walker.

Today, I am three months fired, and I am starting a new part time position as a medical scribe. I am excited, and most importantly, happy. I will be returning to university in the fall, and I will be studying electrical engineering, like I had always dreamed of; before I was told that I could never become an engineer.

Time to let the bad feelings go, toss them into the sea, and welcome the new adventures the waves bring.

[bbluesrreality]

Idk who needs to hear this today but it’s okay for trans people to have a bit of an ego

[tboyfagmutt]

I think I would cry if someone (my bf) massaged my top surgery scars for me

[quoth-the-goblin-nevermore]

I think I just gut punched by the trans experience. Now that I’m graduating, we were recently handed a letter we wrote to ourselves freshman or 8th grade year. And I can proudly says no, it wasn’t a phase, and yes, we made it.

It goes as follows:

I typed it out so ya’ll don’t have to see my hieroglyphic handwriting. In retrospect some of it was a little emo of me, but I was going through it. It genuinely hurt to remember what I was feeling then. This firmly cements in my mind that I wouldn’t have made it without medically transitioning. I’ve been fortunate enough to be on T for two years, and I know younger me would be so happy knowing he could finally grow up to be himself.

Just remember, be nice to yourself, because who knows what version of you will be reading it in a few years. <3

[clandestine-sadboy]

All I’ve learned is that I’m hard to love. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering why I wasn’t enough but I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life a cold shell of who i used to be because I refuse to give my heart out anymore.

just tell me this is all a dream.

Trey K.

[sensible-tips]

Mindful Monday

[shamelesslyimpurrfect]

Been on testosterone for almost 5 years and just did my shot by myself for the first time!! I was really nervous but it didn’t even hurt and lasted maybe 20 seconds. Go me!!! I’m proud of myself :D

[frostralia]

Be your own Superhero! Be you!

💋 Fabulous Frost Nicoletti XoXo